Thursday, January 4, 2018

The cry of the human heart is "How can I help?"




In the summer of 1978, when I was 31, I fell asleep after reading this passage from Yogananda's Autobiography of a Yogi:

Shortly after my healing through the potency of the guru’s picture, I had an influential spiritual vision. Sitting on my bed one morning, I fell into a deep reverie.
“What is behind the darkness of closed eyes?” This probing thought came powerfully into my mind. An immense flash of light at once manifested to my inward gaze. Divine shapes of saints, sitting in meditation posture in mountain caves, formed like miniature cinema pictures on the large screen of radiance within my forehead.
“Who are you?” I spoke aloud.
“We are the Himalayan yogis.” The celestial response is difficult to describe; my heart was thrilled.
“Ah, I long to go to the Himalayas and become like you!” The vision vanished, but the silvery beams expanded in ever-widening circles to infinity.
“What is this wondrous glow?”
“I am Ishwara. I am Light.” The voice was as murmuring clouds.
“I want to be one with Thee!”




    Out of the slow dwindling of my divine ecstasy, I salvaged a permanent legacy of inspiration to seek God. “He is eternal, ever-new Joy!” This memory persisted long after the day of rapture.


    I found myself in a space with twelve sages in a circle, all focused on an endless column of living white light that was in the middle of the circle. One of the sages sent a ray of consciousness to me: "What do you want to know?" Immediately I responded: "How can I help?"





    And he said to them all, If any man will come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross daily, and follow me. For whosoever will save his life shall lose it: but whosoever will lose his life for my sake, the same shall save it.  —Luke 9:23-24











    "He must increase : I must decrease."  John 3:30



    And he said to them all, If any man will come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross daily, and follow me. For whosoever will save his life shall lose it: but whosoever will lose his life for my sake, the same shall save it.  —Luke 9:23-24





    They that sow in tears shall reap in joy. He that goeth forth and weepeth, bearing precious seed, shall doubtless come again with rejoicing, bringing his sheaves with him.  —Psalm 126:5-6






    "Life is either a daring adventure, or nothing."  — Helen Keller

    "Either the spiritual path is difficult or it is no path at all."  — Rudolf Steiner

    "If one observes how karma works itself out, it may be said from the human side that this living out of karma can only be described as a kind of hunger and its satisfaction."  — Rudolf Steiner





    "You should be leading lives of joy   deep inner joy in the truth! There is nothing in the world more delightful, nothing more fascinating, than the experience of truth."  — Rudolf Steiner


    "Rejoice in the Lord always: and again I say, Rejoice."  — Philippians 4:4

    "Rejoice, and be exceeding glad"  — Matthew 5:12



     The recompense of penance is joy
    Moi, c. 2007 
    Goethe:  "To what avail is all expenditure and labor of suns and planets and moons, of stars and galaxies, of comets and of nebulae, and of completed and still growing worlds, if not at last a happy man rejoices in his existence?”


    Life is an open book — read it and weep for joy


    Life is an ever-opening gift.
    Rudolf Steiner:  "May my soul bloom in love for all existence."


    "This is the day which the Lord hath made; we will rejoice and be glad in it." 
    — Psalm 118:24


    Be the Banjoy!
    Once when we were passing each other Swamiji planted himself in front of me and said "You should be happier." I replied "I'm sure you're right, Swamiji. Almost everyone—" Swamiji cut me off: "No! No! YOU should be happier!"

      "Yogaḥ Karmasu Kauśalam" ["Yoga is skill in action"]
    — Bhagavad Gita 2:50
    The motto of the Himalayan Institute


    "Let each one of us see in one another what is just and imbued with strength. Let strength generate and empower strength. Only then shall we move forward together." — Rudolf Steiner
    Rudolf Steiner, "Verse for America"

    May we be centered in the feeling
    of compassionate love in our hearts
    as we seek to unite with human beings who share our goals
    and with spirit beings who, full of grace,
    look downward on our earnest, heartfelt striving,
    strengthening us from realms of light
    and illuminating our love.

    "He that doeth truth cometh to the light, that his deeds may be made manifest, that they are wrought in God."  — John 3:21
    Per Aspera Ad Astra
    Through Tribulations To The Stars
    "These things I have spoken unto you, that in me ye might have peace. In the world ye shall have tribulation; but be of good cheer : I have overcome the world." — John 16:33




    Rudolf Steiner:  "The angels want to enable us to come to the spirit by way of our thinking, to bridge the abyss between the physical world and the spiritual realm with our thinking."
    "Let brotherly love continue." — Hebrews 13:1

    Blessed are the poor in spirit: for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. 
    Blessed are they that mourn: for they shall be comforted. 
    Blessed are the serene: for they shall inherit the earth. 
    Blessed are they which do hunger and thirst after righteousness: for they shall be filled. 
    Blessed are the loving: for they shall receive love. 
    Blessed are the pure in heart: for they shall see God. 
    Blessed are the peacemakers: for they shall be called the children of God. 
    Blessed are they which are persecuted for righteousness' sake: for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. 
    Blessed are ye, when men shall revile you, and persecute you, and shall say all manner of evil against you falsely, for my sake. 
    Rejoice, and be exceeding glad: for great is your reward in heaven: for so persecuted they the prophets which were before you. 
    Ye are the salt of the earth: but if the salt have lost his savour, wherewith shall it be salted? it is thenceforth good for nothing, but to be cast out, and to be trodden under foot of men. 
    Ye are the light of the world. A city that is set on an hill cannot be hid. 
    Neither do men light a candle, and put it under a bushel, but on a candlestick; and it giveth light unto all that are in the house. 
    Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father which is in heaven.




     "When he hath tried me, I shall come forth as gold."  — Job 



    "And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose."   — Romans 8:28


    Matthew 6:19-34
    Lay not up for yourselves treasures upon earth, where moth and rust doth corrupt, and where thieves break through and steal:
    But lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust doth corrupt, and where thieves do not break through nor steal:
    For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also.
    The light of the body is the eye: if therefore thine eye be single, thy whole body shall be full of light.
    But if thine eye be evil, thy whole body shall be full of darkness. If therefore the light that is in thee be darkness, how great is that darkness!
    No man can serve two masters: for either he will hate the one, and love the other; or else he will hold to the one, and despise the other. Ye cannot serve God and mammon.
    Therefore I say unto you, Take no thought for your life, what ye shall eat, or what ye shall drink; nor yet for your body, what ye shall put on. Is not the life more than meat, and the body than raiment?
    Behold the fowls of the air: for they sow not, neither do they reap, nor gather into barns; yet your heavenly Father feedeth them. Are ye not much better than they?
    Which of you by taking thought can add one cubit unto his stature?
    And why take ye thought for raiment? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow; they toil not, neither do they spin:
    And yet I say unto you, That even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these.
    Wherefore, if God so clothe the grass of the field, which to day is, and to morrow is cast into the oven, shall he not much more clothe you, O ye of little faith?
    Therefore take no thought, saying, What shall we eat? or, What shall we drink? or, Wherewithal shall we be clothed?
    (For after all these things do the Gentiles seek:) for your heavenly Father knoweth that ye have need of all these things.
    But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you.
    Take therefore no thought for the morrow: for the morrow shall take thought for the things of itself. Sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof.



    "Find what you love and let it kill you."  — Charles Bukowski

    The Gate of Humility
    The Himalayan International Institute of Yoga Science and Philosophy of the U.S.A.

    "The heights of the spirit can be scaled only by passing through the gate of humility."  — Rudolf Steiner


    "Good yogis will never emerge in America. Yoga can be transplanted — but of course you can grow all kinds of plants in a greenhouse."  — Rudolf Steiner


    "This is my commandment: that you love one another, as I have loved you. Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends." — John 15:12-13


    "Above all, keep fervent in your love for one another, for loves covers a multitude of sins."  — 1 Peter 4:8

    Rudolf Steiner:  
    "...these societies built on brotherliness and spiritual insight are the worst beset with conflicts. They present the widest opportunities for fighting, for partings-of-the-way, for splitting up into separate factions within the larger group, for group resignations, for sharp attacks on those who stay and those who leave, and so on. In short, human strife is at its most rampant in groups dedicated to brotherhood....

    When people apply their ordinary soul habits to what they think they are understanding of teachings about the higher worlds, then this inevitably develops strife and egotism. Thus it is just by grasping the true nature of the higher worlds that one is led to understand how easily societies with a spiritual content can become involved in conflicts and quarreling, and how necessary it is to educate oneself to participation in such groups by learning to tolerate the other person to an immeasurably greater degree than one is used to doing."

    Namaste
    Rudolf Steiner: "When someone is alone, Christ is not there. You cannot find Christ without first feeling a connection to humanity as a whole. You must seek Christ on the path that connects you with all humankind.... To be connected only with your own inner experiences leads you away from Christ."

    "One person alone does not help, but rather he who unites with many at the right time."  — Goethe

    The words of Benedictus, from scene 7 of Rudolf Steiner’s Mystery Drama “The Portal of Initiation”:


    You have been joined by destiny
    together to unfold the powers
    which are to serve the good in active work.
    And while you journey on the path of soul,
    wisdom itself will teach you
    that the highest goal can be achieved
    when souls will give each other spirit certainty,
    will join together in faithfulness
    for the healing of the world.
    The spirit’s guidance has united you in knowledge;
    so now unite yourselves for spirit work.
    The rulers of this realm bestow on you,
    through me, these words of strength:


    Light’s weaving essence radiates
    from person to person
    to fill the world with truth.
    Love’s blessing gives its warmth
    to souls through souls
    to work and weave the bliss of all the worlds.
    And messengers of spirit 
    join human works of blessing
    with purposes of worlds.
    And when those who find themselves in others
    join with each other
    the light of spirit radiates through warmth of soul.

    ‘The moment a dragon is slain’ Puppet Show (Paris 1963)

    Brave and true I will be.

    Each good deed sets me free.

    Each kind word makes me strong.

    I will fight for the right.

    I will conquer the wrong.

    "All the incidents of our life are material out of which we can make what we will. Whosoever has much spirit makes much of his life. Each acquaintance, each event would be, for the thoroughly spiritual, the first number of an endless series, the beginning of an endless romance." — Novalis


    The Golden Rule of Sadhana: For each step forward that you take in the acquisition of knowledge, take three steps forward in the improvement of your moral character.

    "There is no path to happiness. The path itself is happiness."
     — Gautama Buddha
    The cry of the human heart is "How can I help?"

    Rudolf Steiner:  "To think I strive for happiness is a misconception. I want to be productive and work as much as I can. I want nothing besides."





    Rudolf Steiner:  "Spirit Triumphant! Flame through the weakness of faltering, faint-hearted souls! Burn up egoism, kindle compassion, so that selflessness, the lifestream of humanity, may flow as the wellspring of spiritual rebirth!"


    "An institution is the lengthened shadow of one man." — Emerson
    "Little children, keep yourselves from idols." — 1 John 5:21
    Darlene and I are unutterably grateful that since July 3, 1981, through the unfathomable grace of the guru, we have been allowed to lead surrendered lives of joyous loving service as residents at the headquarters of the Himalayan Institute of Yoga Science and Philosophy, founded by Sri Swami Rama — "Swamiji" to us. 


    It's always an overflowing life here at the Institute. It's the Bonfire of the Vanities. Purgatory. A perfect place to work on your imperfections; tailor-made for someone like me, whose dharma is penance


    The penitent's motto is "Do the Needful": Darlene and I have always tried to help the Institute as much as we can — and we've needed what living here together could give us.


         To resolve our past requires knowledge.
         To forge our future we need courage.
         To experience the present we must develop dedication.


         Our thinking needs riddles to wake up.
         Our feeling needs pain to mature.
         Our willing needs resistance to grow strong.
                                             — Rudolf Steiner


    "The weakest of all weak things is a virtue which has not been tested in the fire."  — Mark Twain
    "Whom the Lord loveth he chasteneth, and scourgeth every son whom he receiveth." — Hebrews 12:6

    "The human being himself must create an organ so that he can bear suffering." — Rudolf Steiner
    "Purge me with H.I.Y.S.P. and I shall be clean..." — Psalm 51:7

    "Above all, keep fervent in your love for one another, because love covers a multitude of sins." — 1 Peter 4:8
    "Love all and exclude none." — Swamiji
    My dearly beloved sisters and brothers! The cultishness of the Institute is most unhealthy; the Institute is despotic and tyrannical as only a cult can be. It is, essentially:

    Plato's Cave


    Oh, the humanity!

    Socrates:  "What the most decent people experience in relation to their community is so hard to bear that there's no other experience like it."
    Abraham Lincoln:  "I am like the man who was tarred and feathered and ridden out of town on a rail. When they asked him how he felt about it, he said that if it were not for the honor of the thing, he would rather have walked."


    "Sometimes the only writing material you have is your own blood."  — Daniel Berrigan

    "Behold, I send you forth as sheep in the midst of wolves: be ye therefore wise as serpents, and harmless as doves." — Matthew 10:16

    "Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you." — Matthew 5:44


    Father, let my mercy toward others make up for the sins done to me.

    "Wisdom is crystallized pain." — Rudolf Steiner
    "All true, great cognition is born from pain and sorrow. When we set out on the path to higher worlds using the means of cognition described in anthroposophical spiritual science, we can reach our goal only by enduring pain. Through suffering—much suffering—we are freed from the oppressive aspects of pain. Without this step, we cannot perceive the spiritual world." — Rudolf Steiner
    "Valor transposed into the spiritual, bravery transposed into the spiritual, is love." — Rudolf Steiner

    "The hero is he who is immovably centered." — Emerson


    "Every noble work is at first impossible." — Thomas Carlyle

    "If there is something more powerful than destiny, this must be the human being who bears destiny unshaken." — Rudolf Steiner
    "The heights of the spirit can be scaled only by passing through the gate of humility."  — Rudolf Steiner

    "Our value for the world must be seen to lie wholly in acts of love, not in what is done for the sake of self-perfecting. Let us be under no illusion about this. When a person is endeavoring to follow Christ through love of wisdom and dedicates that wisdom to the service of the world, it only takes real effect to the extent it is filled with love." — Rudolf Steiner
    "No chastening for the present seemeth to be joyous, but grievous: nevertheless afterward it yieldeth the peaceable fruit of righteousness unto them which are exercised thereby." — Hebrews 12:11

    “Character is that which can do without success.” — Emerson
    "Martyrs are spiritual heroes. Every man has his years of martyrdom. Christ was the great martyr of our race. Through Him martyrdom has become infinitely meaningful and holy. Oh! that I had a taste for martyrdom!"  — Novalis

    "If you try to see for yourself how human individuals have fared who really wanted to seek Christ Jesus, who really wanted to find the path to Him, it has always been a path of martyrdom. Christ Jesus has always had to be sought in defiance of convention, just as even today He must still be sought in the context of a battle against the conventions that still persist."  — Rudolf Steiner
    "In spiritual life, so long as you have grasped it properly, nothing can go wrong."  — Rudolf Steiner
    "Whenever you see evil you should look into your own soul and ask yourself, Why am I not yet able to recognize the good in this evil that confronts me?" — Rudolf Steiner
    "Spirit triumphant! Flame through the weakness of faltering, fainthearted souls! Burn up egoism, kindle compassion, so that selflessness, the lifestream of humanity, may flow as the wellspring of spiritual rebirth!" — Rudolf Steiner

    "Ma Swaha" is my name for the spiritual being that is the Himalayan Institute.
    "I praise what is truly alive, what longs to be burned to death."  — Goethe
    "He [Swamiji] said, 'Isn't this a cremation ground?' referring to his ashram. 'You come here to be burned, and if you can't get that into your head, there's no point in your being here!'" — Swami Veda

    Well met, fellow pilgrims! What a divine blessing to be able to offer our lives up on the altar of humanity! What a full, rich, rewarding, glorious life!

    Weave in Wisdom — Live in Glory — Strive in Virtue

    Jai Rama! Jai Rama! Jai Rama!




    Wherefore seeing we also are compassed about with so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which doth so easily beset us, and let us run with patience the race that is set before us, 
    Looking unto Jesus the author and finisher of our faith; who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is set down at the right hand of the throne of God. 
    For consider him that endured such contradiction of sinners against himself, lest ye be wearied and faint in your minds. 
    Ye have not yet resisted unto blood, striving against sin. 
    And ye have forgotten the exhortation which speaketh unto you as unto children, My son, despise not thou the chastening of the Lord, nor faint when thou art rebuked of him: 
    For whom the Lord loveth he chasteneth, and scourgeth every son whom he receiveth. 
    If ye endure chastening, God dealeth with you as with sons; for what son is he whom the father chasteneth not? 
    But if ye be without chastisement, whereof all are partakers, then are ye bastards, and not sons. 
    Furthermore we have had fathers of our flesh which corrected us, and we gave them reverence: shall we not much rather be in subjection unto the Father of spirits, and live? 
    For they verily for a few days chastened us after their own pleasure; but he for our profit, that we might be partakers of his holiness. 
    Now no chastening for the present seemeth to be joyous, but grievous: nevertheless afterward it yieldeth the peaceable fruit of righteousness unto them which are exercised thereby. 
    Wherefore lift up the hands which hang down, and the feeble knees; 
    And make straight paths for your feet, lest that which is lame be turned out of the way; but let it rather be healed. 
    Follow peace with all men, and holiness, without which no man shall see the Lord: 
    Looking diligently lest any man fail of the grace of God; lest any root of bitterness springing up trouble you, and thereby many be defiled; 
    Lest there be any fornicator, or profane person, as Esau, who for one morsel of meat sold his birthright. 
    For ye know how that afterward, when he would have inherited the blessing, he was rejected: for he found no place of repentance, though he sought it carefully with tears. 
    For ye are not come unto the mount that might be touched, and that burned with fire, nor unto blackness, and darkness, and tempest, 
    And the sound of a trumpet, and the voice of words; which voice they that heard intreated that the word should not be spoken to them any more: 
    (For they could not endure that which was commanded, And if so much as a beast touch the mountain, it shall be stoned, or thrust through with a dart: 
    And so terrible was the sight, that Moses said, I exceedingly fear and quake:) 
    But ye are come unto mount Sion, and unto the city of the living God, the heavenly Jerusalem, and to an innumerable company of angels, 
    To the general assembly and church of the firstborn, which are written in heaven, and to God the Judge of all, and to the spirits of just men made perfect, 
    And to Jesus the mediator of the new covenant, and to the blood of sprinkling, that speaketh better things than that of Abel. 
    See that ye refuse not him that speaketh. For if they escaped not who refused him that spake on earth, much more shall not we escape, if we turn away from him that speaketh from heaven: 
    Whose voice then shook the earth: but now he hath promised, saying, Yet once more I shake not the earth only, but also heaven. 
    And this word, Yet once more, signifieth the removing of those things that are shaken, as of things that are made, that those things which cannot be shaken may remain. 
    Wherefore we receiving a kingdom which cannot be moved, let us have grace, whereby we may serve God acceptably with reverence and godly fear: 
    For our God is a consuming fire.

    "He must increase; I must decrease." — John 3:30

    Psalm 51

    Have mercy upon me, O God, according to thy lovingkindness: according unto the multitude of thy tender mercies blot out my transgressions. 
    Wash me thoroughly from mine iniquity, and cleanse me from my sin. 
    For I acknowledge my transgressions: and my sin is ever before me. 
    Against thee, thee only, have I sinned, and done this evil in thy sight: that thou mightest be justified when thou speakest, and be clear when thou judgest. 
    Behold, I was shapen in iniquity; and in sin did my mother conceive me. 
    Behold, thou desirest truth in the inward parts: and in the hidden part thou shalt make me to know wisdom. 
    Purge me with hyssop, and I shall be clean: wash me, and I shall be whiter than snow. 
    Make me to hear joy and gladness; that the bones which thou hast broken may rejoice.
    Hide thy face from my sins, and blot out all mine iniquities. 
    Create in me a clean heart, O God; and renew a right spirit within me.
    Cast me not away from thy presence; and take not thy holy spirit from me. 
    Restore unto me the joy of thy salvation; and uphold me with thy free spirit. 
    Then will I teach transgressors thy ways; and sinners shall be converted unto thee. 
    Deliver me from bloodguiltiness, O God, thou God of my salvation: and my tongue shall sing aloud of thy righteousness. 
    O Lord, open thou my lips; and my mouth shall shew forth thy praise. 
    For thou desirest not sacrifice; else would I give it: thou delightest not in burnt offering. 
    The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit: a broken and a contrite heart, O God, thou wilt not despise. 
    Do good in thy good pleasure unto Zion: build thou the walls of Jerusalem. 
    Then shalt thou be pleased with the sacrifices of righteousness, with burnt offering and whole burnt offering: then shall they offer bullocks upon thine altar.
    "I through the law am dead to the law, that I might live unto God. I am crucified with Christ: nevertheless I live; yet not I, but Christ liveth in me: and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by the faith of the Son of God, who loved me, and gave himself for me. I do not frustrate the grace of God: for if righteousness come by the law, then Christ is dead in vain." — Galatians 2:19-21

    John 15:1 - 16:3
    I am the true vine, and my Father is the husbandman. 
    Every branch in me that beareth not fruit he taketh away: and every branch that beareth fruit, he purgeth it, that it may bring forth more fruit. 
    Now ye are clean through the word which I have spoken unto you. 
    Abide in me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit of itself, except it abide in the vine; no more can ye, except ye abide in me. 
    I am the vine, ye are the branches: He that abideth in me, and I in him, the same bringeth forth much fruit: for without me ye can do nothing. 
    If a man abide not in me, he is cast forth as a branch, and is withered; and men gather them, and cast them into the fire, and they are burned. 
    If ye abide in me, and my words abide in you, ye shall ask what ye will, and it shall be done unto you. 
    Herein is my Father glorified, that ye bear much fruit; so shall ye be my disciples. 
    As the Father hath loved me, so have I loved you: continue ye in my love. 
    If ye keep my commandments, ye shall abide in my love; even as I have kept my Father's commandments, and abide in his love. 
    These things have I spoken unto you, that my joy might remain in you, and that your joy might be full. 
    This is my commandment, That ye love one another, as I have loved you. 
    Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends. 
    Ye are my friends, if ye do whatsoever I command you. 
    Henceforth I call you not servants; for the servant knoweth not what his lord doeth: but I have called you friends; for all things that I have heard of my Father I have made known unto you. 
    Ye have not chosen me, but I have chosen you, and ordained you, that ye should go and bring forth fruit, and that your fruit should remain: that whatsoever ye shall ask of the Father in my name, he may give it you. 
    These things I command you, that ye love one another. 
    If the world hate you, ye know that it hated me before it hated you. 
    If ye were of the world, the world would love his own: but because ye are not of the world, but I have chosen you out of the world, therefore the world hateth you. 
    Remember the word that I said unto you, The servant is not greater than his lord. If they have persecuted me, they will also persecute you; if they have kept my saying, they will keep yours also. 
    But all these things will they do unto you for my name's sake, because they know not him that sent me. 
    If I had not come and spoken unto them, they had not had sin: but now they have no cloak for their sin. 
    He that hateth me hateth my Father also. 
    If I had not done among them the works which none other man did, they had not had sin: but now have they both seen and hated both me and my Father. 
    But this cometh to pass, that the word might be fulfilled that is written in their law, They hated me without a cause. 
    But when the Comforter is come, whom I will send unto you from the Father, even the Spirit of truth, which proceedeth from the Father, he shall testify of me: 
    And ye also shall bear witness, because ye have been with me from the beginning.
    These things have I spoken unto you, that ye should not be offended. 
    They shall put you out of the synagogues: yea, the time cometh, that whosoever killeth you will think that he doeth God service. 
    And these things will they do unto you, because they have not known the Father, nor me.



    "The significance of a philosophical poem such as the Bhagavad Gita, or similar works of world literature, can only be rightly valued by one to whom they are not just theory, but destiny."  — Rudolf Steiner

    Sunday, September 8, 1991. I walked into the residents' lounge of the Himalayan Institute's headquarters, in Honesdale, Pennsylvania. Darlene and I had been living there for ten years. I had received a mantra initiation from my guru, Swamiji, eleven days before (August 28, Goethe's birthday). I was 44 years old. I was the custodian of the residents' lounge library, and was in the lounge almost every day. I'd been on fire for the Bhagavad Gita since the Seventies; it was my bible. On this day I noticed a new book on one of the shelves: The Occult Significance of the Bhagavad Gita, by Rudolf Steiner. I opened it — and that was that.


    "The Lord dwells in the hearts of all creatures
    and whirls them round upon the wheel of maya.
    Run to him for refuge with all your strength,
    and peace profound will be yours through his grace."
                                       — Bhagavad Gita 18:61-62




    Guru Gita 76

    Dhyana mulam guror murtih

    Puja mulam guroh padam

    Mantra mulam guror vakyam

    Moksha mulam guroh krpa



    The root of meditation is the guru's form

    The root of worship is the guru's feet

    The root of mantra is the guru's word

    The root of liberation is the guru's grace.





    Matthew 11:28-30

    Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. 

    Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls.

    For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light. 





    Psalm 23

    The LORD is my shepherd; I shall not want. 

    He maketh me to lie down in green pastures: he leadeth me beside the still waters. 

    He restoreth my soul: he leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his name's sake. 

    Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me. 

    Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies: thou anointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over. 

    Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life: and I will dwell in the house of the LORD for ever.





    "Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you"
    — Matthew 7:7
    "Duty is when one loves the commands one gives to oneself." —Goethe

    "What is a good person? One who achieves tranquility by having formed the habit of asking on every occasion: 'What is the right thing to do now?'" Epictetus


    "The Return of the Prodigal Son" by Rembrandt
    
    "I have been driven to my knees many times by the overwhelming conviction that I had no place else to go." — Abraham Lincoln

    Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.  — Matthew 11:28-30


    "He who with sincerity seeks his real purpose in life is himself sought by that purpose."
    — Hazrat Inayat Khan



    My yoke is easy: my dharma is penance. As permanent residents at the Himalayan Institute since 1981, Darlene and I have dedicated our lives to selfless service. In 2003, at the age of 56, I traveled to the School of Metaphysics in Windyville, Missouri, because they claimed to be able to tell you what your dharma actually is. Turns out they truly can do what they claim. Here's a transcript of the session in which they lay the light of my dharma on me.

    September 13, 2003. You will search for the identity of the entity referred to as Lawrence Michael Clark. You will relate this one’s dharma from the past and past lifetimes in general in terms of incarnations.

    This would be penance. There is a very strong urge within this one and a configuration of attitudes which promote the need for, as well as the capacity for, penance. This is the ability to assess and to give according to the assessment. We see that it is the obligation and the duty and the debt that this one has in any situation, and we see that it does manifest in ways that are appropriate to this. We see that there have been many incarnations in which this one has been somewhat negligent in this regard, inasmuch as this one either did not perceive or did not admit or did not assess accurately the people, places, and things in the life for this one to be able to understand how this one was accountable and how this one was responsible and what this one was responsible for. We see that this then left many situations in many lives where things were left undone, where there were opportunities that were pushed away, from the scattering of attention or the denial of the situation at hand. We see that this then built a considerable amount of energy toward that of penance, of being able to pay what this one owes, and we see that it is through this ability that this one has formed different understandings through subsequent lives, where the penance has become this one’s dharma. We see that this is very strong within this one and there is a constant awareness — even when it is unconscious it is still present, it is a force in this one’s consciousness and therefore in this one’s life — that this one is obligated, is how it is often seen, and we see that it is through this one accepting and moving beyond the limitations of obligation to be able to perceive the benefits of obeisance and generosity that this one will be able to come to a new level of understanding of the dharma itself. This is all.

    Very well. What would be the relevance of this one’s dharma to the present lifetime?

    In the present we see that this one tends to become distracted through the conscious configuration of obligation. We see that this one has different attitudes about this and we see that some of them are embracing, others are resistant, and we see that it is through this that the awareness is limited of the dharma itself. It would be helpful for this one to begin to develop an image of penance which is desirable. It would be helpful for this one in this to be able to see what it brings to the world personally as well as in this one being connected with living beings. We see that there is a sincere need within this one as well as many others to recognize the sense of duty, purpose, responsibility in order for there to be a greater or heightened sense of connectedness. The sense of duty comes from within the self, it does not pose itself externally; its origin is not apart from this one. And as this one will reconcile this thinking, then there will be a greater flow from within the self of what this one needs to do and why. There is also a need for this one to recognize that the sense of obligation does give this one the sense that there is a need for gratitude. And it is in the embracing of gratitude that this one will become free of the negative connotations to obligation, and these when they are no longer present will make space for there to be joy in the penance — the ability for recompense.





    "It is the highest and holiest of the paradoxes that the man who really knows he cannot pay his debt will be forever paying it. He will be for ever giving back what he cannot give back, and what he cannot be expected to give back. He will be always throwing things away into a bottomless pit of unfathomable thanks."  — G. K. Chesterton, St. Francis of Assisi




    Rudolf Steiner:  "If one observes how karma works itself out, it may be said from the human side that this living out of karma can only be described as a kind of hunger and its satisfaction."


    The recompense of penance is joy


    And he said to them all, If any man will come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross daily, and follow me. For whosoever will save his life shall lose it: but whosoever will lose his life for my sake, the same shall save it.  —Luke 9:23-24



    "He must increase : I must decrease."  —John 3:30
    And he said to them all, If any man will come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross daily, and follow me. For whosoever will save his life shall lose it: but whosoever will lose his life for my sake, the same shall save it.



    "In the beholding of God we do not fall;
    in the beholding of ourselves we may not stand."
                              — Julian of Norwich

    Revelation 3:14-22

    And unto the angel of the church of the Laodiceans write; These things saith the Amen, the faithful and true witness, the beginning of the creation of God;
    I know thy works, that thou art neither cold nor hot: I would thou wert cold or hot.
    So then because thou art lukewarm, and neither cold nor hot, I will spue thee out of my mouth.
    Because thou sayest, I am rich, and increased with goods, and have need of nothing; and knowest not that thou art wretched, and miserable, and poor, and blind, and naked:
    I counsel thee to buy of me gold tried in the fire, that thou mayest be rich; and white raiment, that thou mayest be clothed, and that the shame of thy nakedness do not appear; and anoint thine eyes with eyesalve, that thou mayest see.
    As many as I love, I rebuke and chasten: be zealous therefore, and repent.
    Behold, I stand at the door, and knock: if any man hear my voice, and open the door, I will come in to him, and will sup with him, and he with me.
    To him that overcometh will I grant to sit with me in my throne, even as I also overcame, and am set down with my Father in his throne.
    He that hath an ear, let him hear what the Spirit saith unto the churches.


    "Whoever is not with me is against me, and whoever does not gather with me scatters."  — Matthew 12:30




    "ES IST ICH"


    "These things I have spoken unto you, that in me ye might have peace. In the world ye shall have tribulation; but be of good cheer : I have overcome the world." — John 16:33
    "He that doeth truth cometh to the light, that his deeds may be made manifest, that they are wrought in God."  — John 3:21
    "I am the way, the truth, and the life; no one comes unto the Father except through me." — John 14:6
    Ex Deo Nascimur        In Christo Morimur        Per Spiritum Sanctum Reviviscimus

    Romans 5:1-5

    Therefore being justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ:
    By whom also we have access by faith into this grace wherein we stand, and rejoice in hope of the glory of God. 
    And not only so, but we glory in tribulations also: knowing that tribulation worketh patience; 
    And patience, experience; and experience, hope:
    And hope maketh not ashamed; because the love of God is shed abroad in our hearts by the Holy Spirit which is given unto us.



    Ephesians 6:10-18

    What it comes to in the end is this: Let the intense strength of his might flow through those who want to serve the Lord. Put on the full armor of God that you may resist the well-aimed attacks of the Adversary. For our part is not to fight against powers of flesh and blood, but against spirit beings, mighty in the stream of time, against spirit beings, powerful in the molding of earth’s substance, against the cosmic powers whose darkness rules the present time, against beings who, in the spiritual worlds, are themselves the powers of evil.
    Therefore courageously take up the armor of God, that you can resist the evil on the day when it unfolds its greatest strength. You should stand firm, following everything through to the very end. Stand fast, girded about the loins with truth. Put on the breastplate of the higher life which fulfills our human destiny. Shoe your feet with preparedness to spread the message of peace that comes from the angels. In all your deeds continually hold to your heart’s vision of Christ’s presence, with which you can quench all the flaming darts of the evil one. Take into your thoughts the certainty of the coming world-healing, that it protect you as with a helmet, and grasp the sword of the Spirit which is the word of God which you utter.
    May this armor cover you in all your supplications and prayers; may your inmost heart light up in spirit in your prayers. To this end direct your spirit strength in all your efforts of soul and in your intercessions for all who would know Christ’s healing power.






    May wisdom shine through me


    May love radiate from me


    May strength course through me


    That in me may arise


    A helper of humankind


    A consecrated servant


    Selfless and true





                   — Rudolf Steiner


    Freedom and Love

    Do all the good you can.
    By all the means you can.
    In all the places you can.
    At all the times you can.
    To all the people you can.
    As long as ever you can.

                  — John Wesley


    Lord, make me an instrument of your peace.
    Where there is hatred, let me sow love;
    where there is injury, pardon;
    where there is doubt, faith;
    where there is despair, hope;
    where there is darkness, light;
    and where there is sadness, joy.

    O Divine Master, grant that I may not so much seek
    to be consoled as to console;
    to be understood as to understand;
    to be loved as to love.
    For it is in giving that we receive;
    it is in pardoning that we are pardoned;
    and it is in dying that we are born to eternal life.

    "Eons cannot erase the traces of my days on Earth."  — Goethe



    The Esoteric Lord's Prayer, by Rudolf Steiner

    Father,

    You who were, are, and will be in our inmost being:


    May your name be glorified and praised in us.


    May your kingdom grow in our deeds and in our inmost lives.


    May we perform your will as you, Father, lay it down in our inmost being.

     
    You give us spiritual nourishment, the bread of life, superabundantly in all the changing conditions of our lives.


    Let our mercy toward others make up for the sins done to us.


    You do not allow the tempter to work in us beyond the capacity of our strength.


    For no temptation can live in your being, Father, and the tempter is only appearance and delusion, from which you lead us, Father, through the light of knowledge.


    May your power and glory work in us through all periods and ages of time. 

    Amen





    With the blessing of God all things are good

    In Gottes Segen ist alles gelegen


    Thank you, one and all! Bless you, one and all!
    The grace of our Lord Jesus Christ be with you all. Amen.




    At-one-ment

    Washed in the Blood of the Lamb are We
    Awash in a Sonburst Sea
    You—Love—and I—Love—and Love Divine:
    We are the Trinity

    You—Love—and I—We are One-Two-Three
    Twining Eternally
    Two—Yes—and One—Yes—and also Three:
    One Dual Trinity
    Radiant Calvary
    Ultimate Mystery