Wellspring: A screaming comes across the sky : The return of the prodigal son

Friday, April 28, 2023

A screaming comes across the sky : The return of the prodigal son

A screaming comes across the sky

On March 18, 1977, six days before my 30th birthday, I moved from Tulsa to Chicago, with

a broken and a contrite heart
an impending divorce
$300
no job
no job prospects
nowhere to stay
no friends or acquaintances
a suitcase full of clothes
4 books
(which, it goes without saying, speak volumes)
The Random House Unabridged Dictionary
The Chicago Manual of Style
Ezra Pound's Cantos
Gravity's Rainbow

"In the beholding of God we do not fall;

in the beholding of ourselves we may not stand."

— Julian of Norwich

Psalm 51

Have mercy upon me, O God, according to thy lovingkindness: according unto the multitude of thy tender mercies blot out my transgressions.

Wash me thoroughly from mine iniquity, and cleanse me from my sin.

For I acknowledge my transgressions: and my sin is ever before me.

Against thee, thee only, have I sinned, and done this evil in thy sight: that thou mightest be justified when thou speakest, and be clear when thou judgest.

Behold, I was shapen in iniquity; and in sin did my mother conceive me.

Behold, thou desirest truth in the inward parts: and in the hidden part thou shalt make me to know wisdom.

Purge me with hyssop, and I shall be clean: wash me, and I shall be whiter than snow.

Make me to hear joy and gladness; that the bones which thou hast broken may rejoice.

Hide thy face from my sins, and blot out all mine iniquities.

Create in me a clean heart, O God; and renew a right spirit within me.

Cast me not away from thy presence; and take not thy holy spirit from me.

Restore unto me the joy of thy salvation; and uphold me with thy free spirit.

Then will I teach transgressors thy ways; and sinners shall be converted unto thee.

Deliver me from bloodguiltiness, O God, thou God of my salvation: and my tongue shall sing aloud of thy righteousness.

O Lord, open thou my lips; and my mouth shall shew forth thy praise.

For thou desirest not sacrifice; else would I give it: thou delightest not in burnt offering.

The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit: a broken and a contrite heart, O God, thou wilt not despise.

Do good in thy good pleasure unto Zion: build thou the walls of Jerusalem.

Then shalt thou be pleased with the sacrifices of righteousness, with burnt offering and whole burnt offering: then shall they offer bullocks upon thine altar.

Rudolf Steiner: "But this very pain, this tragedy, contains the most precious seeds of the new, constructive life that has to be built up in the midst of our decaying culture. For the truth is that everything in life that flowers and bears fruit is an outgrowth of pain and suffering."

"They that sow in tears shall reap in joy. He that goeth forth and weepeth, bearing precious seed, shall doubtless come again with rejoicing, bringing his sheaves with him." — Psalm 124:5-6

But he knoweth the way that I take: when he hath tried me, I shall come forth as gold. — Job 23:10

Lean into it

Rudolf Steiner: "You can calmly feel the truth as an ideal placed before you at an immeasurable distance yet with the awareness that you are on your way toward it."

"ES IST ICH"
Rudolf Steiner: "In older languages the self was not specifically designated, for it was contained within the verb. The ‘I’ was not directly mentioned. The verb was used to show what one was doing, and this was what indicated that one was speaking about oneself. There was no name for the self. It only came about in later times that the human being gave his self a name, and in our German language that name [ich] contains the initials of Jesus Christ, which is an important symbolic fact." [Iesus CHristus: ICH]

Continued:

Bringing in the sheaves