Me, before and after Swamiji

 

Before

"What concerns us first is to strengthen the willpower — then we can await what will come."  — Rudolf Steiner

Courage : Valiant Goodheartedness

"What matters most is how you walk through the fire."
— Charles Bukowski

After

Throughout the sex scandal I was Billy Batson.

"Find what you love and let it kill you."

— Charles Bukowski

My guru, Swamiji
Glenview, Illinois, 1975

Swamiji, referring to his ashram: "Isn't this a cremation ground? You come here to be burned, and if you can't get that into your head, there's no point in your being here!"

"Experience is a brutal teacher, but you learn. My god, do you learn."  — C. S. Lewis

"Judge not according to the appearance,
but judge righteous judgment."
—John 7:24

Hebrews 12

Wherefore seeing we also are compassed about with so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which doth so easily beset us, and let us run with patience the race that is set before us,

Looking unto Jesus the author and finisher of our faith; who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is set down at the right hand of the throne of God.

For consider him that endured such contradiction of sinners against himself, lest ye be wearied and faint in your minds.

Ye have not yet resisted unto blood, striving against sin.

And ye have forgotten the exhortation which speaketh unto you as unto children, My son, despise not thou the chastening of the Lord, nor faint when thou art rebuked of him:

For whom the Lord loveth he chasteneth, and scourgeth every son whom he receiveth.

If ye endure chastening, God dealeth with you as with sons; for what son is he whom the father chasteneth not?

But if ye be without chastisement, whereof all are partakers, then are ye bastards, and not sons.

Furthermore we have had fathers of our flesh which corrected us, and we gave them reverence: shall we not much rather be in subjection unto the Father of spirits, and live?

For they verily for a few days chastened us after their own pleasure; but he for our profit, that we might be partakers of his holiness.

Now no chastening for the present seemeth to be joyous, but grievous: nevertheless afterward it yieldeth the peaceable fruit of righteousness unto them which are exercised thereby.

Wherefore lift up the hands which hang down, and the feeble knees;

And make straight paths for your feet, lest that which is lame be turned out of the way; but let it rather be healed.

Follow peace with all men, and holiness, without which no man shall see the Lord:

Looking diligently lest any man fail of the grace of God; lest any root of bitterness springing up trouble you, and thereby many be defiled;

Lest there be any fornicator, or profane person, as Esau, who for one morsel of meat sold his birthright.

For ye know how that afterward, when he would have inherited the blessing, he was rejected: for he found no place of repentance, though he sought it carefully with tears.

For ye are not come unto the mount that might be touched, and that burned with fire, nor unto blackness, and darkness, and tempest,

And the sound of a trumpet, and the voice of words; which voice they that heard intreated that the word should not be spoken to them any more:

(For they could not endure that which was commanded, And if so much as a beast touch the mountain, it shall be stoned, or thrust through with a dart:

And so terrible was the sight, that Moses said, I exceedingly fear and quake:)

But ye are come unto mount Sion, and unto the city of the living God, the heavenly Jerusalem, and to an innumerable company of angels,

To the general assembly and church of the firstborn, which are written in heaven, and to God the Judge of all, and to the spirits of just men made perfect,

And to Jesus the mediator of the new covenant, and to the blood of sprinkling, that speaketh better things than that of Abel.

See that ye refuse not him that speaketh. For if they escaped not who refused him that spake on earth, much more shall not we escape, if we turn away from him that speaketh from heaven:

Whose voice then shook the earth: but now he hath promised, saying, Yet once more I shake not the earth only, but also heaven.

And this word, Yet once more, signifieth the removing of those things that are shaken, as of things that are made, that those things which cannot be shaken may remain.

Wherefore we receiving a kingdom which cannot be moved, let us have grace, whereby we may serve God acceptably with reverence and godly fear:

For our God is a consuming fire.

"Wisdom is crystallized pain."  — Rudolf Steiner

Within our circle there is formed a knot

Of threads that karma spins, world-fashioning.

Thy sufferings, my friend, are links in chains

Forged by the hand of destiny, whereby

The deeds of Gods unite with human lives.

       —Rudolf Steiner, The Portal of Initiation

The Prince of Peace

Praśām  प्रशम्

Strive for peace

Live in peace

Love peace

—Rudolf Steiner

Rudolf Steiner:  "But this very pain, this tragedy, contains the most precious seeds of the new, constructive life that has to be built up in the midst of our decaying culture. For the truth is that everything in life that flowers and bears fruit is an outgrowth of pain and suffering."

"Wisdom is better than rubies; and all the things that may be desired are not to be compared to it."

— Proverbs 8:11

Now

"Past tears are present strength."

— George MacDonald

Rudolf Steiner: "Wherever we are gathered together we are gathered in the name of the search for wisdom and the search for love."

"Only love works."  —  Rudolf Steiner

Rudolf Steiner:  "States and all other human communities come and go before our eyes. But what human beings have formed out of their souls, as such communities, constitute humanly conceived ideas of eternal value, with an eternally enduring significance. And when this human race once again appears on the Earth in a new form, then it will see the fruits of these elements of eternal value."

Continued:

45 years at the Himalayan Institute

Related posts:

Prasham

On a Columnar Self