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| "The Return of the Prodigal Son" by Rembrandt |
44 years ago today, six days shy of my 30th birthday, I moved from Tulsa to Chicago
Behold the person of bone
and you behold Death.
Look within the bones
and behold the Awakener.
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You, my heavenly friend, my Angel,
You who have guided me to Earth
and will guide me through the gate of death
into the spirit homeland of my soul,
You, who have known the path since time out of mind:
Never cease to enlighten me,
to strengthen me,
to counsel me,
That I may emerge from the consuming fire of destiny
a stronger vessel,
and learn to fill myself more and more
with a sense for the goals, the striving
of the spiritual world.
—Rudolf Steiner
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"Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light." — Matthew 11:28-30
My yoke is easy : my dharma is penance. In 2003, at the age of 56, I traveled to the School of Metaphysics in Windyville, Missouri, because they claimed to be able to tell you what your dharma actually is. Turns out they truly can do what they claim. Here's a transcript of the session in which they lay the light of my dharma on me.
September 13, 2003. You will search for the identity of the entity referred to as Lawrence Michael Clark. You will relate this one’s dharma from the past and past lifetimes in general in terms of incarnations.
This would be penance. There is a very strong urge within this one and a configuration of attitudes which promote the need for, as well as the capacity for, penance. This is the ability to assess and to give according to the assessment. We see that it is the obligation and the duty and the debt that this one has in any situation, and we see that it does manifest in ways that are appropriate to this. We see that there have been many incarnations in which this one has been somewhat negligent in this regard, inasmuch as this one either did not perceive or did not admit or did not assess accurately the people, places, and things in the life for this one to be able to understand how this one was accountable and how this one was responsible and what this one was responsible for. We see that this then left many situations in many lives where things were left undone, where there were opportunities that were pushed away, from the scattering of attention or the denial of the situation at hand. We see that this then built a considerable amount of energy toward that of penance, of being able to pay what this one owes, and we see that it is through this ability that this one has formed different understandings through subsequent lives, where the penance has become this one’s dharma. We see that this is very strong within this one and there is a constant awareness — even when it is unconscious it is still present, it is a force in this one’s consciousness and therefore in this one’s life — that this one is obligated, is how it is often seen, and we see that it is through this one accepting and moving beyond the limitations of obligation to be able to perceive the benefits of obeisance and generosity that this one will be able to come to a new level of understanding of the dharma itself. This is all.
Very well. What would be the relevance of this one’s dharma to the present lifetime?
In the present we see that this one tends to become distracted through the conscious configuration of obligation. We see that this one has different attitudes about this and we see that some of them are embracing, others are resistant, and we see that it is through this that the awareness is limited of the dharma itself. It would be helpful for this one to begin to develop an image of penance which is desirable. It would be helpful for this one in this to be able to see what it brings to the world personally as well as in this one being connected with living beings. We see that there is a sincere need within this one as well as many others to recognize the sense of duty, purpose, responsibility in order for there to be a greater or heightened sense of connectedness. The sense of duty comes from within the self, it does not pose itself externally; its origin is not apart from this one. And as this one will reconcile this thinking, then there will be a greater flow from within the self of what this one needs to do and why. There is also a need for this one to recognize that the sense of obligation does give this one the sense that there is a need for gratitude. And it is in the embracing of gratitude that this one will become free of the negative connotations to obligation, and these when they are no longer present will make space for there to be joy in the penance — the ability for recompense.
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