Sunday, June 24, 2018

The road of excess leads to all sorts of places

“We were somewhere around Barstow on the edge of the desert when the drugs began to take hold.” 
― the opening sentence of Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas by Hunter S. Thompson

Love is to lust as a train is to getting run over by a train.  

“Hallucinations are bad enough. But after awhile you learn to cope with things like seeing your dead grandmother crawling up your leg with a knife in her teeth. Most acid fanciers can handle this sort of thing. But nobody can handle that other trip ― the possibility that any freak with $1.98 can walk into the Circus-Circus and suddenly appear in the sky over downtown Las Vegas twelve times the size of God, howling anything that comes into his head. No, this is not a good town for psychedelic drugs. Reality itself is too twisted.” 

Dave Barry:  You take a man and a woman, knock them both out with chloroform, put them into an airplane, fly them to South America, and leave them in the heart of the Amazon jungle in the middle of a starless night without a compass, and the instant they wake up, the man will announce: 'We want to go this way.'

Dave Barry:  I'm not saying that women don't think about sex also. I'm saying that women are capable, for at least brief periods of time, of not thinking about sex, and that most guys are not. This is why, when an attractive woman walks past a group of guys, no matter what activity they are engaged in, they will suffer an attack of Lust-Induced Brain Freeze (LIBF):
     BOMB-DISPOSAL EXPERT (calmly but urgently): Okay, we have fifteen seconds to bypass the timer circuit. On the count of three, I'm going to switch to auxiliary power, and I want you to short out these contacts, got it?
     SECOND EXPERT: Got it.
     FIRST EXPERT: Okay, one, two . . . (An attractive woman walks by.)
     FIRST EXPERT: Whoa.
     FIRST EXPERT: Whoa momma.
     BOMB: Boom.