My 76-year-old self and my 12-year-old self have decided to come together in this guy.

"You should be leading lives of joy — deep inner joy in the truth! There is nothing in the world more delightful, nothing more fascinating, than the experience of truth." — Rudolf Steiner

"The Return of the Prodigal Son" by Rembrandt

"If one observes how karma works itself out, it may be said from the human side that this living out of karma can only be described as a kind of hunger and its satisfaction." — Rudolf Steiner

My yoke is easy : my dharma is penance. In 2003, at the age of 56, I traveled to the School of Metaphysics in Windyville, Missouri, because they claimed to be able to tell you what your dharma actually is. Turns out they truly can do what they claim. Here's a transcript of the session in which they laid the light of my dharma on me.

September 13, 2003. You will search for the identity of the entity referred to as Lawrence Michael Clark. You will relate this one’s dharma from the past and past lifetimes in general in terms of incarnations.

This would be penance. There is a very strong urge within this one and a configuration of attitudes which promote the need for, as well as the capacity for, penance. This is the ability to assess and to give according to the assessment. We see that it is the obligation and the duty and the debt that this one has in any situation, and we see that it does manifest in ways that are appropriate to this. We see that there have been many incarnations in which this one has been somewhat negligent in this regard, inasmuch as this one either did not perceive or did not admit or did not assess accurately the people, places, and things in the life for this one to be able to understand how this one was accountable and how this one was responsible and what this one was responsible for. We see that this then left many situations in many lives where things were left undone, where there were opportunities that were pushed away, from the scattering of attention or the denial of the situation at hand. We see that this then built a considerable amount of energy toward that of penance, of being able to pay what this one owes, and we see that it is through this ability that this one has formed different understandings through subsequent lives, where the penance has become this one’s dharma. We see that this is very strong within this one and there is a constant awareness — even when it is unconscious it is still present, it is a force in this one’s consciousness and therefore in this one’s life — that this one is obligated, is how it is often seen, and we see that it is through this one accepting and moving beyond the limitations of obligation to be able to perceive the benefits of obeisance and generosity that this one will be able to come to a new level of understanding of the dharma itself. This is all.

Very well. What would be the relevance of this one’s dharma to the present lifetime?

In the present we see that this one tends to become distracted through the conscious configuration of obligation. We see that this one has different attitudes about this and we see that some of them are embracing, others are resistant, and we see that it is through this that the awareness is limited of the dharma itself. It would be helpful for this one to begin to develop an image of penance which is desirable. It would be helpful for this one in this to be able to see what it brings to the world personally as well as in this one being connected with living beings. We see that there is a sincere need within this one as well as many others to recognize the sense of duty, purpose, responsibility in order for there to be a greater or heightened sense of connectedness. The sense of duty comes from within the self, it does not pose itself externally; its origin is not apart from this one. And as this one will reconcile this thinking, then there will be a greater flow from within the self of what this one needs to do and why. There is also a need for this one to recognize that the sense of obligation does give this one the sense that there is a need for gratitude. And it is in the embracing of gratitude that this one will become free of the negative connotations to obligation, and these when they are no longer present will make space for there to be joy in the penance — the ability for recompense.

"This is my commandment, That ye love one another, as I have loved you. Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends." — John 15:12-13

"I am the way, the truth, and the life: no man cometh unto the Father, but by me." — John 14:6

John 15:1-16:3

I am the true vine, and my Father is the husbandman.

Every branch in me that beareth not fruit he taketh away: and every branch that beareth fruit, he purgeth it, that it may bring forth more fruit.

Now ye are clean through the word which I have spoken unto you.

Abide in me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit of itself, except it abide in the vine; no more can ye, except ye abide in me.

I am the vine, ye are the branches: He that abideth in me, and I in him, the same bringeth forth much fruit: for without me ye can do nothing.

If a man abide not in me, he is cast forth as a branch, and is withered; and men gather them, and cast them into the fire, and they are burned.

If ye abide in me, and my words abide in you, ye shall ask what ye will, and it shall be done unto you.

Herein is my Father glorified, that ye bear much fruit; so shall ye be my disciples.

As the Father hath loved me, so have I loved you: continue ye in my love.

If ye keep my commandments, ye shall abide in my love; even as I have kept my Father's commandments, and abide in his love.

These things have I spoken unto you, that my joy might remain in you, and that your joy might be full.

This is my commandment, That ye love one another, as I have loved you.

Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends.

Ye are my friends, if ye do whatsoever I command you.

Henceforth I call you not servants; for the servant knoweth not what his lord doeth: but I have called you friends; for all things that I have heard of my Father I have made known unto you.

Ye have not chosen me, but I have chosen you, and ordained you, that ye should go and bring forth fruit, and that your fruit should remain: that whatsoever ye shall ask of the Father in my name, he may give it you.

These things I command you, that ye love one another.

If the world hate you, ye know that it hated me before it hated you.

If ye were of the world, the world would love his own: but because ye are not of the world, but I have chosen you out of the world, therefore the world hateth you.

Remember the word that I said unto you, The servant is not greater than his lord. If they have persecuted me, they will also persecute you; if they have kept my saying, they will keep yours also.

But all these things will they do unto you for my name's sake, because they know not him that sent me.

If I had not come and spoken unto them, they had not had sin: but now they have no cloak for their sin.

He that hateth me hateth my Father also.

If I had not done among them the works which none other man did, they had not had sin: but now have they both seen and hated both me and my Father.

But this cometh to pass, that the word might be fulfilled that is written in their law, They hated me without a cause.

But when the Comforter is come, whom I will send unto you from the Father, even the Spirit of truth, which proceedeth from the Father, he shall testify of me:

And ye also shall bear witness, because ye have been with me from the beginning.

These things have I spoken unto you, that ye should not be offended.

They shall put you out of the synagogues: yea, the time cometh, that whosoever killeth you will think that he doeth God service.

And these things will they do unto you, because they have not known the Father, nor me.

And he said to them all, If any man will come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross daily, and follow me. For whosoever will save his life shall lose it: but whosoever will lose his life for my sake, the same shall save it. —Luke 9:23-24

Rudolf Steiner: "Let us suppose that a person intended to accomplish something in the world through inner spiritual means. The individual has to prepare himself or herself by learning above all to suppress his or her wishes or desires. And while one becomes stronger in the physical world if one eats well and is well nourished and thus has more energy, one will achieve something significant in the spiritual world — this is a description, not advice — when one fasts or does something to suppress or renounce wishes and desires. Preparation that involves relinquishing the wishes, desires, and will impulses arising in us is always part of the greatest spiritual endeavors. The less we will, the more we can say that we let life stream over us and do not desire this or that, but rather take things as karma casts them before us; the more we accept karma and its consequences; the more we behave calmly, renouncing all that we otherwise would have wanted to achieve in life — the stronger we become."

"In the world ye shall have tribulation: but be of good cheer; I have overcome the world." — John 16:33

The recompense of penance is joy:
My latest psychic reading
from the School of Metaphysics

January 21, 2023. You will search for the essence of the entity referred to as Lawrence Michael Clark. C-L-A-R-K. The essence of this entity may be found at 211 Whippoorwill Lane in Honesdale, Pennsylvania.

We have this.

You will examine the essence of this entity throughout, from the crown of the head to the soles of the feet. You will relate all disorders as seen, whether mental, emotional, or physical. You will also relate those things necessary for the correction of any disorder.

In the mental system we see that this one has made some changes and has improved the life in certain ways, and is pleased with what this one has caused. However, this one does also identify areas of life where this one has yet to identify and become the person that this one wants to become. This one hesitates at times to be fully realized within the self. This one does have some limiting thoughts about who this one is, and it is the expression of these, in writing — would suggest writing — where this one can be real and attentive to what this one wants and needs, and does not want or does not need. And it is in this that this one can become aware of areas of life that this one can still engage in that are beneficial for this one. Those things that this one does not want can be changed. For example, if this one does not want to respond to difficult situations, this needs to be changed to responsiveness to all situations. Stating even the negative identification in positive terms, turning it around to positive terms, will give this one a picture of where to direct the attentions and the activities within the life.

We see within the emotional system this one yet holds back from others in certain ways. This one does not share the self completely, and it is of benefit for this one to interact with people, sharing new thoughts, this one’s own ideas, not in a way that is rigid, but simply in a calm manner telling others what this one thinks and feels. And that would be the engagement, the emotional engagement, that this one has with others. This one does not need to know them well or intimately to be able to communicate with people, to care for them, to be in a relationship where this one likes, or dislikes, anyone; ideally this one would care for people and give the self freely emotionally.

We see within the physical body, once again, digestive issues, where this one does receive the food and it stays within the area of the stomach rather than being fully moved through, so there is a kind of slowing or stagnation in moving substances through the entire digestive system, including receiving the nutrients all the way through the intestines and all the way out of the body. This one can benefit from eating foods that are crisp and fresh, such as vegetables, which do contain vitamins and minerals that this one does need. This could be fresh fruit that is very cleansing; more water. Of course this one does know this — to practice it is the key to changing the balance within the digestive system.

It appears there is a tightness within the heart, and this could be relieved by sharing the self willingly with others, rather than hesitating to do this. For loving the self and caring about others as well. Letting go of that which is held inside would be very beneficial for this one. A cleanse could be beneficial. The primary experience is letting go of old hurts and pains and grudges and instead forgiving and loving the self fully and loving others as well. So that this one may release resentments. This is all.

He asks “How can I help?”

By giving of the self more fully. By sharing this one’s resources, this one’s wisdom, this one’s excitement and joy, this one’s humor — by sharing this one’s care and love for the self and others. This is all.

You mentioned that he has made changes. What kind of changes has he made to improve his life?

We see this as a greater acceptance of who this one is; a greater sense of happiness or neutrality at times — not all the time, but some of the time; a greater willingness to get out of this one’s enclosed environment — home or office — a new interest in some areas of life that can be very beneficial; walks in nature, again, are very helpful, and this one has the capacity to walk; accepting new ideas, new thoughts, is very beneficial for this one, and this one has made some change in this. This is all.

Any further suggestions for this entity’s health and wholeness?

It is simple to love the self and to love others. This is all.