BOOK 3: THE INWARD SPEAKING OF CHRIST TO A FAITHFUL SOUL
Chapter 52: That a man ought not to reckon himself worthy of consolation, but more worthy of chastisement.
O Lord, I am not worthy of Thy consolation, nor of any spiritual
visitation; and therefore Thou dealest justly with me, when Thou
leavest me poor and desolate. For if I were able to pour forth
tears like the sea, still should I not be worthy of Thy
consolation. Therefore am I nothing worthy save to be scourged
and punished, because I have grievously and many a time offended
Thee, and in many things have greatly sinned. Therefore, true
account being taken, I am not worthy even of the least of Thy
consolations. But Thou, gracious and merciful God, who willest
not that Thy works should perish, to show forth the riches of Thy
mercy upon the vessels of mercy,(1) vouchsafest even beyond all
his own deserving, to comfort Thy servant above the measure of
mankind. For Thy consolations are not like unto the discoursings
of men.
visitation; and therefore Thou dealest justly with me, when Thou
leavest me poor and desolate. For if I were able to pour forth
tears like the sea, still should I not be worthy of Thy
consolation. Therefore am I nothing worthy save to be scourged
and punished, because I have grievously and many a time offended
Thee, and in many things have greatly sinned. Therefore, true
account being taken, I am not worthy even of the least of Thy
consolations. But Thou, gracious and merciful God, who willest
not that Thy works should perish, to show forth the riches of Thy
mercy upon the vessels of mercy,(1) vouchsafest even beyond all
his own deserving, to comfort Thy servant above the measure of
mankind. For Thy consolations are not like unto the discoursings
of men.
What have I done, O Lord, that Thou shouldst bestow any
heavenly comfort upon me? I remember not that I have done any
good, but have been ever prone to sin and slow to amendment. It
is true and I cannot deny it. If I should say otherwise, Thou
wouldst rise up against me, and there would be none to defend
me. What have I deserved for my sins but hell and everlasting
fire? In very truth I confess that I am worthy of all scorn and
contempt, nor is it fit that I should be remembered among Thy
faithful servants. And although I be unwilling to hear this,
nevertheless I will for the Truth’s sake accuse myself of my
sins, that the more readily I may prevail to be accounted worthy
of Thy mercy.
heavenly comfort upon me? I remember not that I have done any
good, but have been ever prone to sin and slow to amendment. It
is true and I cannot deny it. If I should say otherwise, Thou
wouldst rise up against me, and there would be none to defend
me. What have I deserved for my sins but hell and everlasting
fire? In very truth I confess that I am worthy of all scorn and
contempt, nor is it fit that I should be remembered among Thy
faithful servants. And although I be unwilling to hear this,
nevertheless I will for the Truth’s sake accuse myself of my
sins, that the more readily I may prevail to be accounted worthy
of Thy mercy.
What shall I say, guilty that I am and filled with confusion?
I have no mouth to utter, unless it be this word alone: “I have
sinned, Lord, I have sinned; have mercy upon me, forgive me.”
Let me alone, that I may take comfort a little before I go whence
I shall not return even to the land of darkness and the shadow of
death.(2) What dost Thou so much require of a guilty and
miserable sinner, as that he be contrite, and humble himself for
his sins? In true contrition and humiliation of heart is
begotten the hope of pardon, the troubled conscience is
reconciled, lost grace is recovered, a man is preserved from the
wrath to come, and God and the penitent soul hasten to meet each
other with a holy kiss.(3)
I have no mouth to utter, unless it be this word alone: “I have
sinned, Lord, I have sinned; have mercy upon me, forgive me.”
Let me alone, that I may take comfort a little before I go whence
I shall not return even to the land of darkness and the shadow of
death.(2) What dost Thou so much require of a guilty and
miserable sinner, as that he be contrite, and humble himself for
his sins? In true contrition and humiliation of heart is
begotten the hope of pardon, the troubled conscience is
reconciled, lost grace is recovered, a man is preserved from the
wrath to come, and God and the penitent soul hasten to meet each
other with a holy kiss.(3)
The humble contrition of sinners is an acceptable sacrifice
unto Thee, O Lord, sending forth a smell sweeter far in Thy sight
than the incense. This also is that pleasant ointment which Thou
wouldst have poured upon Thy sacred feet, for a broken and
contrite heart Thou hast never despised.(4) There is the place
of refuge from the wrathful countenance of the enemy. There is
amended and washed away whatsoever evil hath elsewhere been
contracted.
unto Thee, O Lord, sending forth a smell sweeter far in Thy sight
than the incense. This also is that pleasant ointment which Thou
wouldst have poured upon Thy sacred feet, for a broken and
contrite heart Thou hast never despised.(4) There is the place
of refuge from the wrathful countenance of the enemy. There is
amended and washed away whatsoever evil hath elsewhere been
contracted.
(1) Romans ix. 23. (2) Job x. 20, 21. (3) Luke xv. 20.
(4) Psalm li. 17.
(4) Psalm li. 17.
Source: http://kempis-imitationofchrist.com/book-3
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